This was a tearful read riddled with relief knowing that I am not alone. To know that motherhood, marriage, and partnership can grow despite our mind telling us it can’t (unless we fix ourselves)... So powerful, thank you for the vulnerability. On my to do list: find an OCD therapist. 💌
Oof. I’m learning so much from all of you here. I always just thought I had “commitment issues”, but when I line it all up it looks like ROCD has influenced my life much more than I thought.
another informative and educational yet personal piece ❤️ i loved this so much. not only was it touching to read about your experience but it definitely makes me feel less lonely with mine. i like to call OCD “the shitty parasite” and go about my day. i’m glad you’re sharing so many techniques to fight off the shitty parasite <3
I kept thinking about how cruel OCD is. It doesn't attack the things we don't care about; it goes after the very things we'd protect with our whole hearts. The irony that love demands trust while OCD demands certainty... that tension runs through this entire piece! "You are no longer living your relationship. You're monitoring it." That line stopped me..It's heartbreaking to imagine wanting certainty so desperately that you lose the ability to simply exist in the relationship you've been longing for all along. This was a difficult read in the best way. Thank you for this, Irina 🩷
Thank you for sharing and writing this I heavily relate to the compulsions you would do as I would do many of the same. Reading them just takes me back to the days where it ruled every moment with my girlfriend. I could never truly without thinking to much be with her for many months and years which is so sad to me. I pushed through, and I will continue to do so. I send love to anyone struggling in a war with your mind.
I know exactly what you mean, Ryan! It saddens me from time to time to think about our 7 years of relationship and being able to pinpoint so specifically to all the times that my OCD took over and made me almost absent in our relationship. But accepting the sadness and grief and still moving kindly forward while choosing our values over fears, is what recovery means too.
I'd love to learn more about #8 specifically - Challenging limiting beliefs about love. ERP has been incredibly helpful for disrupting the OCD cycle, but I think my deep seated beliefs about love are a roadblock that I'm not sure how to navigate. I'm also really curious in learning about what recovery looks like for you.
Thank you so much for your comment Kasey. I get what you mean about how tough is to challenge deeply seated beliefs about love; it was the same for me. I made note about your request and will detail more about this in next week's essay. I'll make it about limiting beliefs about love (intimacy, communication etc.) + other cognitive distortions that can show up and how I tackled them.
Thank you for sharing this Irina. This is how I found out I had OCD was through struggling in a difficult interpersonal situation the past year or so. I too have noticed ROCD come out in ways that are non-romantic as well. Which I want more people to realize. Just like there is more to life and relationships besides romantic love, ROCD can encapsulate much more than that as well.
Absolutely, Gabrielle; There is literally no limit to what OCD cannot latch onto - except for things that are not important for the sufferer. I, too, struggled with relationship OCD outside of the romantic love: my daughter and my cat were targets too. I hope that you're doing well now - and am here if you need words of encouragement or any kind of support.
This was a tearful read riddled with relief knowing that I am not alone. To know that motherhood, marriage, and partnership can grow despite our mind telling us it can’t (unless we fix ourselves)... So powerful, thank you for the vulnerability. On my to do list: find an OCD therapist. 💌
Oof. I’m learning so much from all of you here. I always just thought I had “commitment issues”, but when I line it all up it looks like ROCD has influenced my life much more than I thought.
another informative and educational yet personal piece ❤️ i loved this so much. not only was it touching to read about your experience but it definitely makes me feel less lonely with mine. i like to call OCD “the shitty parasite” and go about my day. i’m glad you’re sharing so many techniques to fight off the shitty parasite <3
Thank you so much! I used to call mine "Pushy" and because humor has always been very helpful in my recovery and life, in general, I decided to give it a goofy look - look at it below :)))) https://tenor.com/view/maga-trump-trump-supporters-gif-1110424253882441837
I kept thinking about how cruel OCD is. It doesn't attack the things we don't care about; it goes after the very things we'd protect with our whole hearts. The irony that love demands trust while OCD demands certainty... that tension runs through this entire piece! "You are no longer living your relationship. You're monitoring it." That line stopped me..It's heartbreaking to imagine wanting certainty so desperately that you lose the ability to simply exist in the relationship you've been longing for all along. This was a difficult read in the best way. Thank you for this, Irina 🩷
Thank you for reading me. And I know how it feels when reading something that stops you in your tracks.
Thank you for sharing and writing this I heavily relate to the compulsions you would do as I would do many of the same. Reading them just takes me back to the days where it ruled every moment with my girlfriend. I could never truly without thinking to much be with her for many months and years which is so sad to me. I pushed through, and I will continue to do so. I send love to anyone struggling in a war with your mind.
I know exactly what you mean, Ryan! It saddens me from time to time to think about our 7 years of relationship and being able to pinpoint so specifically to all the times that my OCD took over and made me almost absent in our relationship. But accepting the sadness and grief and still moving kindly forward while choosing our values over fears, is what recovery means too.
I'd love to learn more about #8 specifically - Challenging limiting beliefs about love. ERP has been incredibly helpful for disrupting the OCD cycle, but I think my deep seated beliefs about love are a roadblock that I'm not sure how to navigate. I'm also really curious in learning about what recovery looks like for you.
Thank you so much for your comment Kasey. I get what you mean about how tough is to challenge deeply seated beliefs about love; it was the same for me. I made note about your request and will detail more about this in next week's essay. I'll make it about limiting beliefs about love (intimacy, communication etc.) + other cognitive distortions that can show up and how I tackled them.
Looking forward to reading it!
Thank you for sharing this Irina. This is how I found out I had OCD was through struggling in a difficult interpersonal situation the past year or so. I too have noticed ROCD come out in ways that are non-romantic as well. Which I want more people to realize. Just like there is more to life and relationships besides romantic love, ROCD can encapsulate much more than that as well.
Absolutely, Gabrielle; There is literally no limit to what OCD cannot latch onto - except for things that are not important for the sufferer. I, too, struggled with relationship OCD outside of the romantic love: my daughter and my cat were targets too. I hope that you're doing well now - and am here if you need words of encouragement or any kind of support.